The maid of honor just puked.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
