your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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