I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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