Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
