marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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