so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
