My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize