What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
