sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
