My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
