Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry preppyjock hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.

Fav 8 4309 1077
share tweet
(361): View more from Texas

yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

(361): View more from Texas

I just can't bring boyfriends home.

Fav 29 1432 4977
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...

Fav 2 1544 1259
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.

Fav 8 1484 507
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.

Fav 0 39 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT