I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize