How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
