Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
