right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
