he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
