There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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