onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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