Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize