I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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