i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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