i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
