please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
