i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
