My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
