You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
