No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
