They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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