dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this will be a night to untag.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
