What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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