We're like a lot better than the average bears
She's JV to your varsity
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
