I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
