I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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