I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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