I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize