I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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