Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
