im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
