Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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