the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
soo... how was my night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
