I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
