I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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