Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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(714): View more from California

Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros

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(254): View more from Texas

It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...

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(228): View more from Mississippi

He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..

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(319): View more from Iowa

Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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(406): View more from Montana

I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.

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