I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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