quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
