how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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