It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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