get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize