So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
