That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
