Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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