no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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