Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I forget how to act sober
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize