Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
