bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
